Young people are starting sexual relations earlier every time.

The results concluded that 79.4% had had some type of sexual relationship: kissing (31%), petting (12.3%), oral sex (14.6%), vaginal sex (16%), anal sex ( 4.6%). Likewise, the mean age of their first penetrative sexual relationship was 13.8 years.

Adolescents feel informed about sexuality but in reality lack much basic knowledge

teens sex

Teenagers think they know everything about sex thanks to the internet or friends, but they are wrong.

Despite the fact that the vast majority of adolescents, more than 80%, claimed to feel well informed as far as sexuality is concerned, the experts who participated in the study stressed that a significant percentage present deficiencies in knowledge related to basic concepts of sexuality. 

Their main sources of information were friends (35%), the internet (19%) and parents (19%). Only 9% obtained information on this matter during Primary Education and 35% acknowledged that they did not trust anyone in their family to talk about sexuality at home.

Therefore, when it comes to dealing with sexual relations, there are still taboos and great ignorance that can lead, firstly, to a certain disappointment when the first encounters take place and, secondly, to a greater exposure to sexual behaviors risk.Couple kissing at night in the cityA young couple kisses

As the psychologist and sexologist Marina Castro explains, the first piece of advice that should be given to a person who enters the world of sexual relations is “to forget the concept of virginity.” We still associate being a virgin with not having penetrated but, in reality, “penetration is one more sexual practice. In fact, it is one of the worst as far as the genital level is concerned,” she explains.

Penetration is one of the worst practices as far as the genital level is concerned”

Marina CastroPsychologist and sexologist

The most appropriate way to fully enjoy sex has several stages, and it is convenient not to skip any of them in order to experience each of them with its benefits. “We are talking about a sensual stage, an erotic stage, and a genital stage,” explains Marina Castro. 

“My advice is to forget that intercourse is the end of the relationship.” In the first place, you can explore the sensual stage, which has more to do with the game, with knowing how our body and that of the other person works. In this phase, caresses, kisses and words play a fundamental role and you should not be in a hurry to finish it, quite the opposite. It has entity in itself and a capital importance in a full sexual life.In sex you don't have to look for recipesFull sex has several stages.

Next, there is the erotic phase, which, as Castro explains, has more to do with excitement. It is important not to skip this stage either, because going directly to genital stimulation can become uncomfortable if there is no prior arousal. 

It is time to explore other erogenous zones such as the neck, the back of the ears, the armpits, the inside of the knees, the thighs… “It is very important that there is erotic play and my advice is that before starting in the genital area, couples fully experience these two phases, earlier because they provide a lot of knowledge about one’s sexuality and favors rapport with the other”, he asserts. 

In this sense, communication and respect are fundamental and it must be clear that each one must follow their rhythm and expose the limits that they do not want to cross at all times.

The genital phase would be continuity, as well as penetration, but we must lose sight of the concept that it is the end of the sexual relationship. “In other words, you can start genital stimulation and penetration and then stop and end with oral sex or caresses, there doesn’t have to be an established order,” the expert underlines.

“Thinking that sex is what you see in porn movies is like thinking that driving is doing it like in Fast & Furious”

Marina CastroPsychologist and sexologist

And you can’t forget the orgasm aspect. Especially in the first relationships, for many it becomes an obsession and they come to think that there has not been a complete sexual relationship if the climax is not reached. Other error. The orgasm is not the objective of the meeting but one more experience within it. It does not have to be achieved in all relationships nor does it have to be a problem if it is not achieved on some occasions.In bed you can only sleep and have sexReal sex life differs from what is shown in pornography.

Many of the young people who go to see a sexologist have in their minds a somewhat distorted image of the sexual relationship motivated by pornography. “Thinking that sex is what you see in porn movies is like thinking that driving is driving like in Fast & Furious. It’s science fiction,” she explains. Neither the bodies are as they appear in these videos, nor are the genitals the same way, nor are erections produced like this, nor is an orgasm reached at the same time, or anything similar. Real sexual life is different, but no less exciting for that.

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