“For these people, having something penetrate them is often too distracting during sex, and they can’t reach orgasm.”
You may need to be a little more creative during sex (especially if your partner has a penis).
For this reason, we share some sexy ideas to stimulate your clitoris, and that also do not require penetration in the event that your partner wants to join the pleasure party.
According to a survey Dr. Mintz conducted of college-age students, 94 percent of people with clitorises know how to orgasm on their own.
But the problem is that many people forget about those skills during couples’ sex. ‘The crucial step is to bring your own pleasure to partner pleasure.’
If you have a favorite method of stimulating your clitoris while masturbating, do the same with your partner.
Rubbing, flannelling, girdling, groping or groping- sounds incredibly basic, but keeping your clothes on and rubbing against your partner while kissing can be unexpectedly arousing and drive them to orgasm.
Or, you can try placing a pillow or other object under you and rubbing against each other while your partner touches other parts of your body, suggests Dr. Mintz.
Use a vibrator
A vibrator may be the easiest way to speed up clitoral stimulation.
During partnered sex, consider a vibrator that you can use at the same time. They can also take turns using the vibrator on different parts of the body or experimenting with multiple vibrators at once.
Stay on the edge
Before you reach orgasm stop or go back. Then resume clitoral stimulation and stop again.
Being on the edge can be a lot of fun for people with clits, as they provide some suspense, and some people say it can make the final orgasm that much more intense.
‘Sext’ with your partner
If you’re not sure what to say in your message, start by simply asking your partner where they would like to be touched first.
‘ Sexting’ is a discreet and fun way to communicate to your partner exactly what you enjoy during sex.
“What a person needs can vary from one encounter to the next, so each person needs to know what brings them pleasure and be able to communicate that to their partner,” says Dr. Mintz.
For example, if you prefer clitoral stimulation, why not tell your partner through a message?
There is a tantric practice called synchronized breathing , during which you and your partner face each other and inhale and exhale at the same time.
Synchronizing the breath allows for a juicy energetic connection to occur, specifically if you are sitting genital to genital.
There’s no one correct way to manually stimulate the clitoris, because everyone’s nerves are positioned a little differently, but a common technique is to rub in a figure 8.
Consider oral sex
It might seem like anyone who prefers clitoral stimulation to penetration would be a big fan of oral sex, but you should make sure you talk to your partner and ask what they like before you discourage them.
Perhaps your clit tends to be too sensitive for oral? Maybe they’ve never had an oral orgasm before? Or maybe you know exactly what’s going on until you ask.
Surrounds the clitoral hood
People with a clitoris have a flap of skin, called the ‘clitoral hood’, that covers the glans clitoris, which is the part of the clitoris that has all the nerve endings. Some people have larger clitoral hoods that cover the glans clitoris.
‘Those people might find that taking a finger or two and encircling the clitoral hood. This feels especially good, because it hits the place of pleasure the clitoris is known for ,’ says Dr. Mintz.
Give time to orgasm
According to Dr. Mintz, the average person with a clitoris requires between 20 and 45 minutes of clitoral stimulation with a partner to orgasm, while it only takes four minutes to orgasm on her own.
Take your time and “enjoy the sensations of clitoral stimulation,” she suggests. Let your partner know that you may need extra time and be very clear about what you want.
Give and receive a massage
Get naked, then use the palms of your hands to rub your partner’s shoulders and work your way down to their lower back and buttocks.
Massages can be sexy, intimate, and erotic, whether you intend to give your partner a happy ending or just want to spend time getting to know all the curves of their body.
Make a list of poses
Sit down with your partner and make a list of sexual activities that you want to try, would never try, and might try. After you have finished, talk about why you made such a selection.
Here we share some ideas.
Stimulate your nipples
Nipple stimulation can mimic the same chemical action and response in the brain caused by genital stimulation, and anyone who has nipples has the same number of nerve endings and can benefit from nipple play.
To start, apply some saliva or lubricant to your hand and stroke, pinch, rub your partner’s nipples.
Let your partner take the initiative
Blindfold yourself while your partner uses a vibrator or his hand to touch you. When you deprive yourself of a sense, such as sight, you can make the sensation of touch feel more intense.
Or if both people feel comfortable, you can try tying one’s arms and legs together and letting the other person use a vibrator all over their partner’s body.