In the field of sex there are many taboos and prejudices that can harm our most intimate and erotic side, both in men and women.
But those referring to the former may be less visible, because many men -not all- do not want to express their weaknesses in general, much less in this area in particular for fear of being associated with fragile masculinity.
The famous phrase “size matters” that for a long time weighed down the imagination of many men has already been denied by sexologists, but now other intimate taboos lurk, and many are related to the role and expectations of the male figure. Does it have to be the man who ‘does all the work’? Should he ‘do his duty’ from him? Where is the G spot for men? Does everything have to be up and running all the time? Do you always have to feel like it?
With the bar high
A time of demands
A sexologist at MYHIXEL (a male well-being company), explains that there have always been certain expectations in this field of sexuality, but today they are higher, especially for men. Why? Many men, he relates, put pressure on themselves to “deliver” and somehow prove themselves, among other demands.
Sexuality and functional diversity: how to overcome barriers
It is true that women have also suffered a lot of pressure over the years in this area, but little by little it has been possible to lower these standards thanks to their empowerment, says Rodríguez. She believes that there is still a long way to go and that, above all, the pressure exerted on the role of men during sex, which is summed up in demands and expectations, must be made visible.
After all, says the sexologist, this same pressure is the cause of erection problems or of another type -such as premature or delayed ejaculation-, since the psychology of each one can block us when it comes to intimate.
So, what are these barriers that prevent us from improving our sexual life, be it due to a lack of information, context or culture? Here is a list of different taboos related to male sexuality:
1. The trigger
Occasional erectile dysfunction is not a problem
All or almost all men have had a trigger at some time, this may be due to different external factors, such as fatigue, alcohol, anxiety or psychological pressure. In addition, it is clear that worry influences and that the more importance it is given, the worse. We have to remember here that sex goes beyond penetration and stimulation, that the possibilities are endless. This greatly reduces the importance of having a trigger and, therefore, decreases the anxiety and psychological pressure when it happens.
2. Ejaculate at the wrong time
Premature and delayed ejaculation can be solved by talking to a specialist
Another common concern – one in three men suffers from it – is premature ejaculation. However, 80% of those affected do not go to the specialist or discuss it with anyone. The same happens with delayed ejaculation, which is suffered by between 4% and 10% of men, according to some studies. The sexologists assure that this stigma must be broken, that men know that they are not alone, that their pathology is suffered by many others, that they can talk about it and that, in most cases, the problem has a psychological cause and is can overcome.
3. Anal sex
Stimulating the prostate, the male G-spot, is a source of pleasure
One of the biggest taboos in male sexuality is everything related to anal sex, especially when it comes to heterosexual men. However, the truth is that anal sex can give a man a lot of pleasure as it is the way to stimulate the prostate, considered the male “G-spot”, an area that is only about 5 cm from the anus, towards the front. A prostate stimulation that can be done in many ways: with your fingers, leaning on a toy…
4. The desire and desire
The impact of emotional state
It seems that the man always has to feel like sex, but it is not so. Men’s libido levels vary, just as they do in women. In fact, there are men with little sexual appetite, something that is not a problem. In addition, of course, the desire varies depending on vital circumstances, both physical and, above all, emotional.
5. Sexually transmitted diseases
The condom is the best barrier against infections of a sexual nature
There is very little education and great ignorance regarding sexual infections in men. Apart from HIV, there are other sexually transmitted infections that are not talked about. For example, there are human papillomaviruses, which have been associated mainly with anal and some oropharyngeal cancers, and also other infectious diseases such as gonorrhea, chlamydia or syphilis, about which one should be less afraid to talk and, above all, , be informed to be alert to any symptoms. Along these lines, we must not forget that the condom, beyond being a contraceptive method, is the most effective tool we have to prevent the spread of HIV and sexually transmitted diseases.
The comparisons are hateful
Many men find themselves having to compete with each other over their penis because they associate self-esteem and potency with the size of their reproductive organ. But the reality, says Rodríguez, is that the couple will not notice the difference between three centimeters more or less. So, is it a matter of always wanting to be “the best” at everything, not having flaws? It could be, experts say, a case of fragile masculinity.