Confinement, social distance and the absence of plans are being some of the enemies of couples in this time of pandemic. Now more than ever we encounter obstacles that can make relationships difficult.
Our mental health has also been affected this year and this can have a direct impact on our sexual life, and in a negative way. Especially during the harshest months of the state of alarm, we have focused on survival and, in some cases, there has been no additional space left for any sensual action, eroticism has been left in a corner.
Many day-to-day habits have changed and with this the vital energy and the evasion for the desire to be born have been lost. During the confinement, the management of personal space, forced to live 24 hours a day with the same person or, conversely, the impossibility of seeing the couple because they were in separate places, made desire difficult, and many couples They came to rethink the future of their relationships.
On the other hand, uncertainty (so linked to this coronavirus crisis) is a factor that is unpleasant and can destabilize us, and this lack of security ends up generating stress, mistrust and anxiety. And all this ends up favoring the sexual blackout because, after all, desire and mood go hand in hand.
And how can we recover the spark? María Martínez Murillo, psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist, affirms that the best thing to do is to work on eroticism through simple physical contact, such as caresses, kisses and hugs, without the feeling or obligation of having to go to the bed, but enjoying every moment. “It is essential not to force ourselves to have sex because, sometimes, staying wanting more helps to increase sexual desire,” she explains.
How do I not lose my sexual appetite?
1. Communication is and will always be the pillar in relationships . Being able to talk openly about reluctance and lack of energy is critical so that an agreement can be reached.
2.Playing with creativity can help give rise to desire that, depending on age, does not always arise spontaneously.
3. Avoid self-demand . The situation can be difficult and, if you have thoughts like “I have to measure up and measure up”, they can have the opposite effect.
4. Put desire and intensity to intimate moments with the couple. A romantic dinner, a shared movie or an animated conversation are perfect examples to create those moments.
5. Promote catharsis . Understanding that the couple may not be the same as they were before the pandemic, that therefore the relationship has to be recomposed and improved, and for that, time and patience are needed.
6. Take care of mental health . Do sports as much as possible and look for situations of pleasure, escape from habits and common places.
Book a time
The stress in our lives means that we hardly reserve quality time to be with our partner. According to the Control Barometer, 29.2% of Spaniards have sex once a week, although 50.4% would like to have it every 2 or 3 days and 24.3% would like to enjoy it every day. Wanting is power, so organize the week to have moments as a couple and you will see how, almost without trying, everything starts to flow.
2. The details make the difference
Surprise and be surprised
Many times it is the small gestures that make the difference in a relationship. Surprising the couple by bringing them breakfast in bed can become a unique experience. In addition, the bed continues to be the favorite place to have sex: 76.4% choose it as their favorite place according to the Control Barometer.
3. Goodbye routine
Try new things
Stable couples tend to get into routines where sex takes a backseat. Having relationships becomes something everyday and unoriginal and, over time, we end up losing the desire. 84.4% of those surveyed by Control stated that they would like to try new things in their sexual life precisely to get out of the routine.
4. Be generous
Caring for the other is the basis of any good relationship, and the same thing happens in sex: a generous couple is a satisfied couple. For this reason, it is advisable to go easy on relationships: almost 44% dedicate only between 5 and 10 minutes to foreplay during sex and, however, 50.5% consider it a factor of the utmost importance in a sexual relationship .
5. Play with toys
Discover and innovate
Many couples still view sex toys as enemies in a relationship. But most of the toys are designed to be used as a couple and can be the perfect complement to liven up your sexual life. 86.5% of those surveyed by Control admit to having used a sex toy at some point, although the majority more alone than with a partner. It all adds up: they can help to get to know the erogenous zones, making you reach orgasm sooner.