Good morning, these days that we have been confined and the ones to come we all know that they are going to be very hard and difficult to face. I’ve been talking to my friends and we each have our particular situation at home, but we all agree on how to better live it.
My question is, how do we manage to be okay with our partner, alone, etc.? I think that it will be good for all of us to have some advice or tips to enjoy the “encierro” as much as possible. Thanks in advance.
The situation that is being experienced is very complex emotionally speaking. It involves an emotional cascade on many levels. First of all uncertainty appears : What will happen? How long will it last? How should we manage it? And so on. The human being needs data to locate what he feels, to be able to control the situation. Ambiguity is one of the aspects that is most difficult for us to face: not knowing does not allow us to decide, or project, or become aware.The situation we are experiencing due to the coronavirus crisis is difficult to manage emotionally, but it offers opportunities to enjoy.
Second, we feel fear . We must not forget that we are facing a health risk situation. There is suffering due to the possibility of contagion, both for us and for our family, friends and people we love and appreciate.
And, in third place appears the feeling of overwhelm and anxiety due to the imposition of confinement. Not being able to decide, feeling locked up for 24 hours in a small space with your partner, children, family, roommates, friends or alone. Each of the situations with its emotional particularities.
In this catastrophic scenario we have the opportunity to reconnect with ourselves or with our partner
Perhaps we miss contact with people, not being able to stay or go out. Perhaps we are stressed because we are constantly looking for how to entertain our children . We can also feel drowned by being with our partner for days and days…
Faced with this panorama that seems catastrophic, we also have a great opportunity : to reconnect with ourselves and/or with our partner on many levels. In this case I am going to stick to the sexual aspect to get a little sugar to the circumstances we are going through.
Of course we must differentiate the different possibilities of common coexistence :
If we are alone…
Time to explore sensations
If we are alone, surely moments of loneliness can overcome us emotionally. Therefore, it is best to dedicate part of that time and energy to our sexuality .
If we live alone, this stage of confinement can be used to deepen our eroticism.
It is a good time to deepen our eroticism, give ourselves that time we never have. Not just looking for the discharge, that quick orgasm, which is what you tend to do on a daily basis when there is no time, when you get home at night and when you go to sleep you want to relax and masturbate to rest better and have a brief moment of pleasure.
If we live with family or friends
Create your “cave”
If we are sharing a flat or with family or friends, we must initially dedicate ourselves to looking for a space of privacy , managing to create “a cave” to isolate ourselves, to achieve privacy and thus be able to have a space of solitude. And once that space has been identified and created, put into practice everything I have mentioned in the previous point for those who are alone.If you share a home, it may not be easy to find spaces of privacy.
If we live as a couple
Make you want
If, on the other hand, we are with a partner, it is time to have that desired sexuality that the day to day full of obligations and responsibilities makes it difficult for us. We can imagine that we are in a paradisiacal vacation resort. It is about putting desire and attitude , we can live the current circumstances as an opportunity instead of as a problem.
When we go on vacation to a resort we are also isolated from the world and we lock ourselves in a hotel with all the comforts. To achieve this, the most important thing to start with is to differentiate shared spaces from personal ones, avoiding being in the same room 24 hours a day. Everyone should have a space to disconnect, to work, to read, to talk with friends, etc.Confinement allows us to spend more time enjoying games as a couple.
And, on the other hand, we must find the shared spaces, which must be of three types: those for housework, leisure spaces and moments of intimacy. So it’s time to be creative and create spaces that encourage connection and complicity. We can have a romantic dinner, a bath together, dance in the living room, a sensual massage, a make-out session, cook in our underwear, have conversations about our sexual tastes, and so on.
We can make a list of ideas and we will surely come up with interesting things to enjoy the relationship. Perhaps we can consider what things we have never done as a couple and take advantage of this moment to do what we have not tried and to look for quality sex.
If we have children
Find moments alone
When there are children at home it is more difficult to find moments to be alone.
If we are with children and/or relatives, the possibility of achieving those spaces of intimacy and sensuality is complicated. Therefore, our energy should go to find moments to find ourselves alone with the couple and be able to put into practice what was stated in the previous point.