Anal sex may still be taboo for some people, but not for us! And it is that done well, anal penetration is very pleasant because the anus is full of nerve endings that, when stimulated correctly, will make you vibrate with excitement.

If you are thinking of trying it, but you are worried about having discomfort or, on the contrary, you have already had an experience that has ended with “anal sex hurts”, keep reading because below we are going to give you some tricks so that you know how to avoid it. pain in anal sex and you can enjoy it to the fullest.

Why can anal sex hurt?

Obviously, anal penetration is not going to be the same as vaginal penetration due to the differences between the two areas. In the anus we are not going to have natural lubrication or the same dilation. Also, if you feel nervous because it is the first time or you have had a previous negative experience, the result will be a contraction of the muscles in the area, increasing discomfort and making penetration difficult. With this in mind, the main causes of pain during anal sex can be:

  • Not having used lubricant : as we have explained, there is no lubrication in the anus that the vagina does. Therefore, if you have had sex without adding that extra lubrication that a lubricating product offers you, it is possible that friction has caused you discomfort.
  • Not having dilated the area adequately for penetration : the anus must be carefully dilated, little by little, depending on each person. It’s not just about putting lubricant, you have to stimulate it, caress it with your fingers, with your mouth and, in general, include it in the preliminary games so that the excitement increases and with it the desire to reach penetration.
  • The penetration has been very abrupt : it is useless to be careful beforehand if the moment of penetration is done abruptly. If you are the one giving anal sex, look at the reaction of the person receiving it to see if you can go more or less quickly. On the contrary, if you receive it, set the pace and ask the other person to stop or slow down if you feel discomfort.
  • There are problems such as hemorrhoids : hemorrhoids are veins that protrude into the anus and, for this reason, can make penetration painful. In general, any problem in that area can cause discomfort during anal sex. If this is your case, leave it for when you have recovered.

The importance of stimulating the anus before penetration

Characteristics such as its narrowness or its lack of lubrication make it clear that it is very necessary to stimulate the anus for anal sex in order for the experience to be pleasant. We have to prepare the area, but also our mind to forget prejudices and be able to relax and excite us to the maximum. And it is that relaxation is one of the keys to enjoying anal stimulation, since keeping the area contracted can make penetration difficult and cause pain or discomfort.

Do not forget to include the anus as part of the foreplay, stimulating it, for example, with a gentle massage with previously lubricated fingers, inserting a lubricated finger or sex toy into the area or giving it oral sex, the delicious “rimming”, which is tremendously exciting and ideal as a prior to anal penetration.

How to avoid pain in anal sex

We compile the tips to avoid pain and discomfort during anal sex. Having painless anal sex is possible!

Talk about it before

We recommend that before trying to have anal sex, you talk about it with your partner or partners and agree on what you want. Being able to convey what you like and what you don’t is the best way for penetration to become pleasant.

Time for the preliminaries

Once you’ve made up your mind, take time for foreplay. Pay attention to both the anus and the rest of the areas of the body that you can touch, kiss, caress, squeeze… Raise and lower the intensity to arouse the desire for more.

Being well aroused and, above all, stimulating the anus very well is essential to avoid painful and annoying penetrations. There is no rush, good things are made to wait.

Always use lube

As the anus does not have the same lubrication as the genitals, for a pleasant anal sex it is always advisable to add extra lubrication. You can opt, for example, for any of the lubricants from the Durex range, suitable for anal, vaginal and oral sex, however, we especially recommend Durex Perfect Connection, very suitable for stimulation and anal sex. This silicone-based lubricant provides lubrication that does not dry out easily and is longer lasting than water-based lubricants (1) and is compatible with all condoms in the Durex range.

Use sex toys

For example, during foreplay, you can use special sex toys for anal dilation, which will help you stimulate and relax the area, facilitating penetration. If the case is that you do not have a toy at hand, your fingers can also be a good option. In either case, make sure they are well lubricated.


Now that you are focusing on the anus, stimulate it little by little, from less to more, first with very soft and superficial movements until the intensity increases. You can start with one or more fingers, as you relax, and then move on to penetration, or introduce the penis very little by little to excite the area. The most important thing is that everything is slow and deliberate to guarantee pleasure without pain.

In addition, it should be taken into account which are the best sexual positions for anal sex that will help you enjoy a better experience.  

Finally, remember that in anal sex it is still very important to use condoms. In fact, this type of sex is considered high risk for the transmission of sexually transmitted infections or STIs as there is more friction and more possibilities of small injuries. Don’t risk it, always do it with a condom.

You can choose any of the condoms from the Durex range or opt for our alternative designed especially for anal sex: Durex Perfect Connection condoms , designed with thicker and extra silicone-based lubrication, providing greater security and longer-lasting lubrication.

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