It is common for girls to feel discomfort and even pain the first time they have sex. It is not strange because, as always when doing something for the first time, it is normal to feel tension and nervousness. In this state it is easy for penetration to cause discomfort or pain due to the rigidity of the body and because, if we get stressed, we may not have good lubrication in the genital area.
The more dryness there is, the more penetration will bother. But, can this situation be repeated the next time we do it? If you ask yourself: is it normal that it still hurts after the first time?, keep reading because we clarify it in this article.
Why does it hurt during sex?
It is not uncommon for women, at some point in their lives, to feel discomfort or pain during penetration. There are several causes of pain in sex and they can be both physical and emotional. Below, we explain the most common causes.
Lack of lubrication during penetration
The vagina is naturally lubricated, as you can see when you see the flow that it emits and that changes according to the moment of the cycle in which you are. When you get aroused, even more fluid is secreted to facilitate penetration and make it smooth and with little or no discomfort. Therefore, when for various reasons there is not enough lubrication, the friction that occurs during penetration is not cushioned, hence it can hurt or bother.
The reason for this lack of lubrication in the first sexual relations is usually that there is little previous stimulation . That is to say, if you go directly to penetration and you forget the preliminaries, caresses, kisses, etc., the result may be that there is not enough arousal or lubrication, causing discomfort or pain. On the other hand, if you use hormonal contraceptives, they can also affect lubrication. Also, as we mentioned, lubrication changes according to the menstrual cycle. This is the reason why, sometimes, even if you feel very excited, you are not sufficiently lubricated. Later we will give you some tips to increase lubrication.
Stress during sex
If you are stressed during intimate relationships, your muscles will be tense and penetration can be annoying. Tension creates an environment that is not the most suitable for having sex, you need to be calm and let yourself go to enjoy yourself to the fullest.
Anxiety, worry, or other psychological factors
In these cases, the same thing will happen as with stress. If you are aware of your appearance or how you do every detail because you feel insecure, if you really do not feel like having sex or you are not very convinced, if the relationship with that person does not convince you, etc. It is understandable that the necessary conditions for a pleasant penetration do not exist. Thus, fear, nervousness, discomfort or doubts can cause you to lose concentration, not get excited and feel discomfort with penetration.
Sometimes pain during penetration is due to a health problem, such as vaginal infections. If you suspect that this is your case or you have other symptoms such as burning when urinating, strong vaginal odor or itching sensation, see a doctor.
In summary, the basics for good sex is to be excited, since in this way we are going to lubricate what is necessary so that penetration is pleasant for us. For this to happen, it is essential that we want to have sex with our partner at that moment, that is, that we are sure of our decision. Remember that sex doesn’t have to hurt. If you feel pain, look for the cause. Lastly, if you feel the pain only when penetration is deep, it may be due to causes other than those we have explained, such as ovarian cysts or endometriosis (1). If this is your case, our advice is that you go to the gynecologist. On the other hand, if you have a lot of discomfort or doubts, you can also seek help from a gynecologist.
Is it normal that it hurts after the first time?
Do you wonder if it is normal that it still hurts after the first time or if it hurts the second time? We refer you to the previous section, as it is possible that you feel pain or discomfort during the beginning of your sexual relations, even if you have already done it once. As we have said, the lack of lubrication, stress or nerves can be behind this pain after the first time. However, remember that sex has to be pleasurable. Find out what is affecting you in order to improve your relationships.
Tips to have sex without pain
Do you feel pain in sex after the first time or do you want to avoid it in your first meeting? Here are some tips to avoid pain during sex.
Don’t forget the foreplay
Don’t go straight for penetration. Dedicate all the time you need to caresses, kisses, massages, etc. all over the body In this way, you will be sufficiently aroused and lubricated when the moment of penetration arrives.
Lubricants offer you that extra lubrication and stimulation that makes penetration smoother and more pleasant. That is why they are a good option to avoid the discomfort that friction can cause if there is not enough lubrication. Try Durex’s range of lubricants, where you’ll find both water-based and silicone-based options. And if you don’t know where to start, don’t miss our article How to choose a lubricant.
Try different postures
Penetration may bother you in one position, but not in another. If you feel pain and you think it is for this reason, try changing your position until you find the one you like best. And if you have doubts about what the most recommended positions may be, in our article Sexual positions for the first time you will find some ideas that are not only good for the first encounter, but for all the others!
Make sure you empty your bladder before sex
Sometimes feeling a full bladder is annoying during penetration, which can cause some pain and discomfort. Therefore, it is always advisable to urinate before having sex to avoid this possible discomfort.
Put these tips into practice to enjoy sex without pain, and if you continue to experience discomfort despite following these recommendations, then it is time to visit your gynecologist.