Sex is pleasure and fun, as well as a way to be intimate with your partner or partners. However, there are times when, despite the excitement and desire, discomfort or pain arise during penetration in certain positions. Do you feel discomfort when you are on top and ask yourself “ why does it hurt when I am on top”? Keep reading because in this article we explain the possible causes of discomfort in this position and some tips to avoid it.

It hurts when I’m up, why?

Getting on top is one of the recommended positions precisely to avoid discomfort or pain because, by being on top, you can control the depth of penetration of the penis or the sex toy, as well as set the pace . However, although it seems an ideal position to avoid discomfort, it may still appear and understanding why it happens is the best way to try to prevent it. For this, it is necessary to know that there are some differences between the male and female anatomies when aroused.

In the case of women, sexual arousal triggers some changes, such as an increase in vaginal lubrication, as well as in the size of the vulva, the erection of the clitoris or contractions in the genital muscles. Among these modifications is also the elevation of the uterus (1), which entails an ascent of the cervix, that is, the neck of the uterus. When going up, there is more space for a penis or any sex toy to fit perfectly in the vagina. But, since the cervix is ​​at the end of the vagina, it is also possible that penetration causes discomfort when the penis or sex toy hits against it.

Taking all this into account, these are the most frequent causes that respond to your question of “why does it hurt when I’m up?”:

  • Very rough penetration, for example when the up/down movements are very strong or the sex toy or penis is very large.
  • Insufficient arousal, which can cause the uterus to remain low instead of rising and the penis or sexual object to collide against the cervix, causing discomfort.
  • Lack of lubrication, which leads to less smooth penetration, making discomfort more likely.

How to avoid pain when I’m up

If you think “it hurts when he penetrates me fully”, considering the most frequent causes, you can take into account some recommendations to prevent discomfort in this position. We review them below.

Take time for foreplay and arousal

Caresses, kisses and all the preliminary games that you can think of before reaching penetration help to raise the temperature of the encounter. The result is that you will be more aroused and more lubricated, with which the penetration will be softer and more pleasant.

Set the pace and avoid too rough penetration

Being on top gives you the advantage of controlling how you want penetration, more or less deep. If you bounce with too much force, you run the risk of feeling discomfort, which is why it is more recommended that, if you feel pain in your sex, instead of moving up and down, you do it, for example, from front to back with a slight inclination or to one side and the other.

Use a lubricant

The genitals have a natural lubrication that facilitates penetration, but you can always help yourself by using a lubricant to get extra lubrication that will make you enjoy more smoothness and greater stimulation. You can choose one of the range of Durex lubricants. You have them with a water base or with a silicone base, which achieve a longer duration. You can try Durex Calor or Durex Frescor or jump into cherry or strawberry flavored lubes to add a touch of fun.

Vary sexual positions while on top

Try one of the ones we recommend:

  • The chair: your partner should sit on a chair and you will get on top moving gently from front to back. It is a great position so that, with his hands, he stimulates your entire body. Also, being face to face allows for deep kisses and intense stares.
  • The lotus flower: in this case your partner sits with his legs open, leaning on his arms, and you stand on top, surrounding his waist with your legs. Push more or less to mark the depth of penetration, also supporting yourself on your arms.
  • The tarantula: it is a position similar to that of the lotus flower, but, in this case, you sit on top of your partner slightly to the side. She holds your leg while you hold on to her neck and, with the other hand, you lean on her leg, leaning back a little, which will allow you to carry out a pleasant back-and-forth movement that will be very exciting.

Pain in sex, when to go to the doctor?

As you can see, it is possible to avoid pain when you are up with measures and postures like the ones we recommend. However, in some cases, it is necessary to go to the doctor, for example if you frequently feel pain when you have sex despite changing your position and following advice like the ones we have shared.

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